Today, it was my first day back to school after break. I wasn't feeling well, but I decided to go anyway. I threw up in the hallway and shit myself at the same time. I waited in the office for my dad to come and get me for almost an hour while wearing dirty underwear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1806) - you totally deserved it (237)
On 01/03/2011 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went to the store and ran into an old friend that I hadn't seen in years. We chatted a little, and just as I was leaving he grabbed his mobile phone. Later, I added him on Facebook. Turns out the last thing he posted was a picture of my back saying: "Look who got even fatter." FML
I agree, your life sucks (1510) - you totally deserved it (187)
On 01/03/2011 at 12:28pm - misc - by insultedguy (man) - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidently shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML
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On 01/03/2011 at 12:17pm - misc - by klyoung5 (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found out that I have borderline personality disorder. When I asked my mum why she didn't get me checked out earlier, she said "huh, I just assumed you were a moody bitch". FML
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On 01/03/2011 at 9:58am - health - by lulah (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)
Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me". FML
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On 01/03/2011 at 6:37am - love - by anon. (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)
Today, I was at my friend's house. We were looking at her dad's guns, and I was explaining gun safety and how you should never put your finger on the trigger. I then shot a hole in the floor of her house. FML
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On 01/03/2011 at 6:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alaska)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend had a baby with my worst enemy from high school. FML
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On 01/03/2011 at 5:35am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, the alarm clock downstairs has been going off since 3am. The apartment belongs to two other students. They've gone home. Only 3 more days left to go. FML
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On 01/03/2011 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mariokart, she decided to leave. FML
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On 01/03/2011 at 5:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out that my beautiful engagement ring is a remake of the late Princess Diana's engagement ring. I also found out my fiance bought it from an infomercial, for 19.95$. FML
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On 01/03/2011 at 1:52am - love - by puggles (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out the reason I can't get the job I've been trying to get. The position I'm applying for is currently held by two 30 year-old alcoholics that can't be fired for showing up to work trashed because it's considered a "disability." FML
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On 01/03/2011 at 12:32am - work - by chasingserenity (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I rode a bike for the first time in 10 years. Into a bus. FML
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On 01/03/2011 at 12:13am - misc - by y21 -
Today, my husband's old fraternity brother came to visit. He fell out of his car, puked, then passed out drunk in our driveway. We got him to the bathroom where he fell asleep. He woke up at 4am, wandered around the house naked, pooped in my trash can, then passed out again. FML
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On 01/02/2011 at 11:14pm - misc - by Kristin (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after a two week holiday, I'm returning to work exhausted. I had nightmares about work every single night. FML
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Today, my boyfriend and I watched "The Notebook". That night he broke up with me because the movie made him believe he should go back to his first love. FML
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On 01/02/2011 at 8:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML
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On 01/02/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I said to my husband, "Honey, I think you have a drinking problem." He looked at me and replied, "Honey, I think you have an eating problem." FML
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On 01/02/2011 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, several family members, including my mum, deleted me from Facebook in a concerted show of contempt. Apparently, I just can't shut up about World of Warcraft. FML
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On 01/02/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Essex)
Today, my brother attempted to swing me over his shoulder, but lost his balance and fell on the space heater. My parents ran to his aid and grounded me for "fooling around". FML
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On 01/02/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2341) - you totally deserved it (6567)
On 01/02/2011 at 4:36am - misc - by peacechick25 - United States (Alaska)
Today, I took a nap for 30mins, and when I woke up I found assorted permanent markers all over my bed. I found out my little sister colored my face to look like a clown. I have to meet my boyfriends parents in 4 hours. FML
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On 01/02/2011 at 3:49am - love - by Lonely - United States (Texas)
Today, I told my Dad that I think I have depression and need to see a doctor. I've gained a significant amount of weight, I have no motivation to do anything, and I feel completely alone. His reply: "Well, maybe if you actually got off your fat ass and did something you'd feel better." FML
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On 01/02/2011 at 3:38am - misc - by ... (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I wanted to install my expensive video editing software on my computer which I got for Christmas. My sister then decided to complain about her presents, including a laptop, not being good enough. She wouldn't stop complaining so my parents made me let her put it on her computer. She's 10. FML
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On 01/02/2011 at 12:50am - kids - by imabroke (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, while making New Year's resolutions, I realized that I haven't hung out with anybody other than my family in over two years and I started crying. When my mom came in and I explained why I was crying, she replied, "Well that sucks. I'm off to have lunch with some friends. See you later!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6982) - you totally deserved it (2290)
On 01/02/2011 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was stripped of my starting position on my high school basketball team. The reason? I was three minutes late to practice. Why was I late? My coach called me five minutes before practice and made me get him a coffee or else he wouldn't start me. FML
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On 01/01/2011 at 10:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, my little sister put on some black eyeliner on my eyes. About half an hour later, my eyes started to hurt. Eyeliner never hurt for me; so I went to the bathroom to check it out. My sister wasn't using eyeliner. It was a black watercolor pencil. Now I have black bits inside my eyes. FML
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On 01/01/2011 at 9:48pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boyfriend told me to stuff my bra before going to a party with him and his friends because he didn't want to be embarrassed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10184) - you totally deserved it (1065)
On 01/01/2011 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was dumped by the guy who serenaded me with his guitar and admitted he had feelings for me. Why? Because the girl who had continuously been rejecting him for so long finally decided to give him a chance. FML
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On 01/01/2011 at 6:50pm - love - by drfrogpepper (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a guy commented on one of my Facebook pictures, saying that whoever photoshopped my head to be so stupidly big was a genius. It wasn't photoshopped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8468) - you totally deserved it (874)
On 01/01/2011 at 12:55pm - misc - by bighead (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)
Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2588) - you totally deserved it (8709)
On 01/01/2011 at 12:11pm - misc - by lonely - United States (Ohio)
Today, as the clock struck twelve for the new year, I was in the bathroom having a nosebleed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8059) - you totally deserved it (1109)
On 01/01/2011 at 10:37am - health - by cauteriseme (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, my fiancé suggested we bring his elderly mother with us on our honeymoon. FML
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On 01/01/2011 at 8:30am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out my parents' New Year's resolution is to get me to move out. FML
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On 01/01/2011 at 1:59am - misc - by Moving On - United States (Michigan)
Today, I am pregnant, sober, designated driver, and puke cleaner. Yay for the New Year! FML
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On 01/01/2011 at 1:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went out for New Year's. When I got back, I found my house had been broken into. I found a note saying, "Happy New Year, sucker." FML
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On 01/01/2011 at 12:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I went to a New Year's party with my boyfriend. Later into the night, he got drunk, and left me there to go to another party with his friends. I have no car, and no way to get home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7850) - you totally deserved it (908)
On 01/01/2011 at 12:27am - misc - by Alana - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was about to kiss my girlfriend right as the clock struck midnight for New Year's. She put her hand in front of my mouth, and broke up with me. FML
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On 01/01/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, my grandmother drunk dialed me at midnight to wish me a happy new year. I was already in bed. My grandmother has a better social life than I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8348) - you totally deserved it (2671)
On 01/01/2011 at 12:18am - misc - by nyebust - United States
Today, I was in the elevator with my female coworker and a very attractive teen in front of us. My coworker reached out and grabbed the boobs of the teen in front of us, and blamed it on me. I got yelled at, kneed in the crotch, and punched in the face. My coworker couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10938) - you totally deserved it (896)
On 01/01/2011 at 12:06am - work - by Chris - United States (Illinois)
Today, during the trailers at the movies, my boyfriend elbowed me in the ribs and smiled when an ad for a weight loss institute was shown. FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:28am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful half naked brunette in my bed. 2 minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:27am - love - by Jonathan -
Today, during my beloved’s birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5525) - you totally deserved it (41653)
On 10/13/2008 at 4:26am - health - by Jigll -
Today I woke up next to my girlfriend, but in fact, it wasn’t her. FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:25am - love - by Anonymous -
Today, I got up at 8am and didn't take a shower so I could hear the postman at the door. He never came. I stink. FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:24am - misc - by Cyberdeeder -
Today, I was lying on the bed with my boyfriend. We were watching his cell phone when an automatic reminder message came on the screen: "Do not forget to tell a lie to babe about going out this Friday". FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - love - by Sarah91 -
Today, I got my braces. Handsome guy for two years. FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:23am - misc - by bym -
Today, for the first time I sat next to a hot babe. I was feeling nervous, nevertheless, I managed to shyly ask her phone number. It’s only when I arrived back home that I realized there was a digit missing. FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:22am - misc - by mehdi-online -
Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:22am - misc - by RaYan -
Today, I arrived at the station at 7.30pm sharp for the train... which was cancelled. FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:21am - misc - by RatQuiRit -
Today, I wake up, switch on TV and the first thing I see is the picture of a wanted rapist who looks just like me. I’m afraid to leave home. FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:20am - misc - by mehdi-online -
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - misc - by Cyberdeeder -
Today, in class, I was sitting next to the guy that I fancy. Shyly, I write our initials (L and A) into a heart on his hand to see his reaction… “I love Los Angeles too!” FML
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On 10/13/2008 at 4:19am - love - by mocass’1 -
